Hold' Em Ploy

Your playing $2/5 in a casino and you realize this is the level where poker is very serious.  Here is a standard ploy that scares the rabbits at the table.  First off only pull this out of your arsenal against the fish at the table.  A pro will know what you are doing.   You are in late position and call a bet with any two cards.  One player behind you calls also.  The flop comes with two of a suit.  If the opener bets out and you suspect he is continuing, just call to see what the player behind you does.  If that player just calls then you get to see the turn cheaply with the hope that it is a third suit.  If it is and the opener continues then it is time to raise to represent the flush.   If the player behind you raises to test you then re-raise him with the nothing you have.  Player one will fold and so will player three!   Most of the time anyway!

Sign in a bar

"liquor in the front
   poker in the rear"

Omaha Straight Draws #3

There is a 20-card draw with 14-nut outs in Omaha just high commonly known as the 'Maine-to-Spain' draw.  It is two connectors (J-10-7-6) with a two-gap middle.  On a 9-8-X board your 20 outs are: 4 queens, 3 jacks, 3 tens, 3 sevens, 3 sixes, 4 fives.  Quick which six cards are the non-nut outs?  They are the jacks and tens.

Omaha/8 best starting hand?

The pundits all agree the best starting hand in Omaha/8 or better is A-A-2-3 double suited.  Who can argue?  But be careful.  This hand is nothing like pocket aces in Texas Hold'Em which is a 4-1 favorite over an under pair.  This best starting hand in Omaha/8 only wins the high half of the pot 5.5% of the time and the low half 9%.  It scoops 28% of the time.  So what have we learned here?  Don't go crazy when dealt this hand!  What's the worst starting hand in Omaha/8?   2-2-2-2 !  Can you Imagine being dealt quads is a bad thing?

7-card stud/8 trivia question

Try to find the answer to this question in any poker book!  In 7-card stud 8 or better which of the following two hands would win the low half of the pot?  A-A-5-6-7 or 2-2 5-6-7 ?  I contend that the former would win because aces swing but my fellow players say no.  One day at Foxwoods, during an Omaha/8 tourney in the grand ballroom, I asked Men'the master' Ngyuen, who was in the middle of the room trying to get noticed.  He did not answer instantaneously but did finally concur with me.  I finally found printed confirmation in a slim poker book entitled Poker is the Name of the Game by Walter Gibson (page 84.)

Omaha Straight Draws #2

In Omaha just high a hand with a top connector and two single gaps at the bottom (example: J-10-8-6) will offer a 16-card nut straight draw on a flop of 9-7-X.  The 16 cards that will make the nuts are 3 jacks, 3 tens, 3 eights, 3 sixes and 4 fives.

Omaha Straight Draws #1

A three-card rundown hand with a 2-gap bottom (example: J-10-9-6) yields a 16-card nut wrap draw on a 8-7-X flop in Omaha (just high.)  The 16 cards are the 3 jacks, 3 tens, 3 nines, 3 sixes and 4 fives.  Any one of these 16 cards will give you the nut straight.

2-7 lowball advice

Quick what is the worst hand in poker?  In other words what five card hand cannot beat any hand?  I am always surprised at how many players don't know and/or can't even think, given time, of the correct answer.  The answer is the nuts in 2-7 lowball which is 2-3-4-5-7.  Remember playing high-low with your dads old buddies?  They played A-2-3-4-6 as the nut low and we had to declare which direction we were going in by taking two coins or chips under the table, putting one, two or none in your palm then coming up simultaneously and all opening clenched fists to see which direction every one was intending?  Ah, the good old days.  This really added a tough dimension to high-low decisions.  We also played you had to declare your hand!   None of this pussy-ass 'cards-talk' bullshit.  And now A-2-3-4-5 is the nut low in every casino high-low game except 2-7 lowball.  Another great dimension to 2-7 is that straights and flushes count against you.   Also remember that aces are high only!   So here's my advice.  Only play single draw.  Avoid triple draw where luck is more of a factor.  Don't play anything but a monster hand in early position.  If you are in the cut-off seat and are dealt a playable hand, raise, to try and drive out the button because then you are the button by default and  position is uber-critical in this poker discipline.  THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD RAISE PRE-DRAW IS WITH A PAT HAND OR A HAND YOU PLAN TO REPRESENT AS PAT!!!  Raising and then drawing is just plain old dumb in this game.

Poker Book Mistake

In Championship 7-Stud: High, High-Low, Razz by Linda Johnson, Tom McEvoy and Max Stern there is a mistake on page 20.  McEvoy is discussing three card starting hands in 7-stud/8.  He says, 'Two aces with a baby card, especially if it is a wheel card, is an extremely strong starting hand."  Then he says, "If it is double-suited, so much the better...."  !!!  How can three cards be double suited????!!!!

Make Bubble Safe?

On June 26th, 2006 I was playing in one of those little Omaha/8 tournaments at Foxwoods in the witch infested woods of North Stonington, Connecticut.  With 6 players left and five getting paid I was short stacked when someone graciously asked the players if they would vote to make bubble safe.  There was one crotchety bitch at the table who voted no.  Fine, I guess I didn't blame her.  Well, like the baseball player on deck who sees his fellow teammate intentionally walked to get to him it fires one up!  So I bore down and won the tournament!!!  Guess who was bubble girl!!!  Yea, baby!!!  There is a god!!!   Moral of the story ala Yogi Berra?  It ain't over till it's over so say yes, always, to making bubble safe.

Omaha/8 or better advice

There are 5,278 starting hands in Omaha/8.  Well, there are more but my figure eliminates similar hands.  For example: A-2-3-4 unsuited is only counted once in my total.  In that number the top 100 hands have two aces in them!  So think twice before playing a hand that doesn't contain at least one ace!  There are very few hands without an ace with positive EV (expected value) but more on that later.  Here's my advice...when you flop two pair with no low draw; fold to any bet.  Four outs in Omaha is terrible.  And any set less than top set is equally big trouble.  Only play starting hands with scoop potential (a draw to both the low and the high.)  Remember always that each player can make 6 hands after the flop, 24 hands after the turn and 60 hands after the river.  This is why your hand never holds up!  You must have something around 13 or more nut out re-draws to play a hand aggressively.

Piss Spot

One day, at Trump Taj Casino in A.C. I finally got on the stupid $5/10 Omaha/8 table after an interminable wait.  To the left of me is an empt seat.  I love when there is an empty seat for various reasons.  Being in close proximity of poker players and their bad breath is not the least of them so when a seat is oh-so-temporarily empty it is a rare treat.  Well, short lived is putting it mildly as the seat was filled before I played my first hand.  This corpulent (nice way of saying fat fuck) woman plops her two-seat ass down next to me and I thought a total eclipse just took place indoors for the first time in the history of mankind.  This woman is so big (this is where you say 'how big?') that she has to sit side-saddle in her chair.  And that's when I saw it!  The giant piss spot!  I got up without playing a single hand and realized the beauty of on-line play in an instant!

how to win at 2-7 single draw lowball

This is a great game!  Position is tantamount to success.  Here's how to play this most underrated of poker variations.  Rarely ever raise then draw even one card!  If you are last to act and no-one raises before you here's what to do...raise then see if anyone stands pat.  If no-one stands pat then stand pat with any hand but do it with a hand that may only need one card.  For example: your on the button and dealt 2-3-4-6-j and no-one raised before you.  Raise then see how many cards each player draws in front of you.  If no-one stands pat then stand pat yourself.  If any player draws one then raises you must discard your jack.  If no-one raises after the draw then stand pat then bet out if no-one else does or raise if they do unless they drew one card then just call.  In general when I see players raise then draw even one card my mouth waters because the chance of pairing when drawing is high.

cheesequake rest stop

One day, on the way to Atlantic City and the Borgata poker room, I stopped at the Cheesequake rest stop on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey to drain the gecco.  As I was washing my hands I noticed two elderly guys struggling to work those damned automatic paper towel dispensers that never work regardless of the amount of "motion" one waves in front of them.  Here's the ensuing conversation.  'Sam remember what they told us to do in the war to sanitize our hands?'  'No I don't Harry, what?' 'To pee on our hands.' the old codger replied.  'Are you kidding?' Sam says, 'I just spent twenty minutes trying to jump start my prostate gland and you want me to pee on my hands!'

seven card stud 8-or better

most books tell us that the two best starting hands in seven card stud/8 are rolled up aces or fives.  many people have asked me why fives?  because they block straights from the wheel to nine.  but trust me the best starting hand in this hard to find casino game is 3-4-5 suited with the hope of catching a suited 2 or six on fourth street.  even an unsuited 2 or 6 will give you a hand to bang till the cows come home.  many books will tell you to give up the ship when catching a brick on fourth street and this is not bad advice but if you can see fifth street for one bet it is correct to take one off with this hand.